The Origin of Creativity

The pressure cooker is on and while I wait for the first whistle, I'm stewing in anxiety about how to write my next picture book. This book has to be as good as my first.

Some might say that's easy, just follow the same recipe for success I used before. However creativity is not a science, its effects are not reproducible- they are a one of a kind miracle in their own right.

I remember the circumstances that triggered me to write in the first place. I was emotionally and physically shipwrecked. I had given birth 6 months earlier to my third child, I was sleep deprived, adjusting to a new routine of school runs post-Caesarean and a husband that left home for international travel from time to time.

The smallest of inconveniences made life unbearable. Life felt difficult and that made me sad. Ashamedly, I saw marriage and children through the lens of regret- and here lies the magic spark.

I didn't want to be depressed. I wanted to enjoy my time with the people I loved the most. So like a match that comes alight the creativity from within inspired me to write, inspired me to draw, inspired me to imagine a way to escape the rut I was stuck in. I was driven to create something successful and beautiful, something that would make life easier to bear.

With time I found healing and the rate of healing shared a linear relationship to the progress of my personal projects. Eventually life did become easier. My baby now a toddler, the school runs no longer taxing, a new job for my spouse with no international travel and for me an art and illustration business to grow and nurture in my own time.

I am no longer sad. I feel lighter and more confident, no longer perceiving homelife as a prison and pursuing a new dream with a sense of clarity and purpose. I want to write and illustrate another story, I want to improve my skills as an artist. I have lots of ideas, maybe even that sticky one for the next book.

However this time, writing simple prose for children seems tricky and bland.

Is my own happiness a roadblock?

Do I really need the seed of despair to yield fruit?

That is my greatest concern.