Childhood

It's a beautiful sunny day and our usual plans of playgroup are tossed aside and replaced with freestyle play in the back garden, a quick trip to the library, park and then shops to get seeds and garden paraphernalia. As it happens we see two groups of child-minders that morning.

One group strolled into the park with seven kids, taking it in turns to play on the swings while the carers took pictures of them. It struck me as such an odd feature of childhood in this age of modernity. Children being cared for by women paid to do so, being raised side by side with other strange children as though they were siblings, and every milestone replayed on devices rather than in the minds of their parents.

It's a true treasure to be able to enjoy my time with the boys, especially with the older one starting school in 4 months. This time is precious and fleeting, I feel grateful to be present for these moments. Childhood is life's most sacred phases like the cycles of the mysterious moon. Every soul tastes life through love, laughter and adventure.

I've been doing a lot of childhood reflections recently for artwork inspiration. Most of my memories relates to bullying from my older brother. At home there was lots of teasing, and joking at my expense. I know my brother was disappointed when I was born, because he didn't want to be the only boy in our house, which made him absolutely vile towards me right up to my teenage years.

My sisters are 12 years my senior and pride themselves as a secondary mother figure in our house. However the level of care they gave me personally is hotly contested, as I recall my mother doing all the mothering in her lifetime and frankly that's how it should be.  One of favourite memories was admiring my sister's homework books because I wanted to learn how to hold a pen and write just like them.

Rekindling the feelings of my childhood unearths the hard truths we face in our adult reality. The freedom and imagination we enjoyed every day dissappeared suddenly when we fell in line with our restrictive adult routines. So many rules, so many standards to conform to. So much pressure to sustain the appearence of happiness when inwardly our soul mourns for the lost potential our young hearts beated for.

It's fascinating how different we are when we expand into adulthood. This metamorphosis hinges so much on the foundations of our childhood as well as our natural temperaments. To see my children building sweet childhood memories reminds me that all my sacrifices were not only worth it but part of a spiritual recalibration that I needed. God has a beautiful way of unravelling blessings, nothing comes early nor too late. We are exactly where we are meant to be. The choices we make, the relationships we build or forgo, dreams we forge with our burning emotions, this is how I have come to know destiny.